Rodolphus Lestrange

Why?

It seems as though the lives around me fall about as mine did, hopefully to come back together as mine does.

I fell asleep with Augustus, but he wasn't the one filling my depraved mind. It was soft curves that my hands touched, a cushioned chest that pressed against mind. And those lips, those lips that are becoming so familiar so quickly....

How can this be happening?

[Private to Augustus]

I asked her. It was Bellatrix Black.

She sent me flowers, Augustus. She asked me to a ball.

...I'm sorry.

[/Private]

It was completely unexpected, but I will be attending the ball.

Hopefully the drunken revelry won't be too distracting.

Someone...put flowers in my books. When I opened my Defense books, then my Charms, they fell out onto my bed. Delicate viscaria in pinks and purples....

'Dance with me'

A Pureblood, obviously, Muggles stopped bothering with flowers....

Someone has asked me to the dance, in such a delicate way I feel as though I'd have to accept. They left no hints, though, and I'm far too surprised to begin to guess who would. I kept them in my books all day, staring at them in class, wondering.

When I first saw them for a moment I had a thrill thinking 'maybe, just maybe'...but he dislikes sentiments like these even more than he dislikes relationships, I'm sure.

This ball has stirred the beginning of an idea in my mind, one which is more complicated than I would prefer, but may eventually lead to some advantages.

Whether I can stomach such an action, though, I sincerely doubt.

I will try. In the end none of this will matter. The problem is that, in my mind, I feel as though this is wrong.

Why is it that when one is attempting to do something that they consider relaxing, others do their best to distract them?

In the interest of keeping a watch over what information goes out to the rest of the school, I have invested in one of these journals. I have also made sure that my brother has access to one, so that, if nothing else, I can at least keep track of speak to him through it.
As far as recent events, there have been none. I have recently received an owl from my uncle, expressing his desire to be alone this holiday season, and replied with a reminder that no true pureblooded students stay at school when they don't have to. He will find that more than acceptable, I am sure, and, therefore, my brother and I will be at "home" for Yule.